Getting past the age of "adorable"

My 5K is in October. It won’t be pretty, but it might be adorable.

Here’s my August column for the Holland Sentinel, the “best newspaper in Michigan” this year, according to the AP…

Last month a young woman I know called me “adorable,” and I knew at that moment I was old. No man wants a young woman to think of him as “adorable.”

I had been bracing myself for this for some time. A hair stylist not long ago told me that I “have nice hair.” And then, after a pause, she said, “for a man your age.” This wasn’t quite in the “adorable” range, but I knew then that I was getting close. And now here I am.

When I told my primary care physician at my annual physical last month that I was training to run a 5K for my 70^th birthday, he suddenly became concerned, as though I had just told him that I was having serious chest pains. I tried to assure him that I have run a few marathons over the years and have maintained a high level of cardio fitness throughout my life. I thought my vital signs that day revealed as much. Still, he gave me more feedback about my training plan than anything else we discussed during my visit.

Which brings me to the point of this column.

I wish Mitch McConnell would retire. I don’t know if a young woman ever thought of him as “adorable” (it’s hard to imagine), but that stage came and went for him a long time ago. Seeing him freeze at a microphone for 20 frightening seconds not long ago was a sign – to me, if to no one else – that maybe it was time for someone else to be doing his job. To be clear, I had concern for him, but that was soon followed by concern for our country.

Here’s the thing. McConnell is “only” 80 years old, and he is hardly the oldest person in the U.S. Senate. Charles Grassley and Diane Feinstein are both 89. Even Bernie Sanders is 81.

The average age of a U.S. Senator is 64 and getting older. I think 64 is a good age. It was for me. One of my best years. But at 64, a person should be at least starting to think about spending more time with grandchildren, say, or writing a memoir. I like to think that I have accumulated a great deal of wisdom and experience along the way, but there comes a time to let go and let others have the opportunity to lead.

Grassley, I will concede, appears to be at a higher cognitive level than Feinstein, but that’s hardly re-assuring. I wish both would do the honorable thing and step down. Let us honor them for their achievements and for knowing the right time to retire.

Strom Thurmond served as a U.S. Senator for 48 years, a record. He was 100 years old when he died in office in 2003. In the years since he died, we have learned that his cognitive abilities had declined significantly and that his staff did their best to keep him from interviews and other interactions with the press. That may have helped Thurmond; I’m not sure it was good for our country.

And what about Joseph Robinette Biden Jr., the 46^th president of the United States? He is 80 years old and would be 86 at the end of a second term, if he happens to win the next election. If you have read this far, you will not be surprised to know that I wish he too would retire. We’ll thank him for his service.

Biden, in my opinion, demonstrates a fairly high level of cognitive ability at times – such as during the last State of the Union address. Not many people, even experienced public speakers, are able to do what did he that night. It’s one thing to read from a teleprompter; it’s another to respond to hecklers. But at other times Biden has clearly demonstrated that he might not be what he once was. Beyond the cognitive issues, he now regularly uses the shorter set of stairs to board Air Force One. Aides have circulated photos to show that his predecessors also used those same stairs, but the impression remains that he doesn’t exactly jog to the door of his plane.

Donald J. Trump has passed the “adorable” stage of a man’s life too. Trump is 77 now and would be 82, if he were to complete a second term. Let’s just say I worry about the combination of his age, weight, and lifelong unhealthy eating habits. I wish he too would not run. It’s time for a new generation of leadership.

My 5K is in October. It won’t be pretty, but it might be adorable.

Photo: My fitness hero is 96 year old Roy Englert of Springfield, Virginia, who continues to break world records in the running world. He currently holds the world record for the 95 to 99 age group in the 800, 1500, and 3,000 meters. On July 11 he set a new world record in a 5,000 meter race with a time of 42:30.23. (I promise to post a photo of adorable me at the Grand Rapids Marathon in October.) I’m coming for you, Roy!