More curiosity, please
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I write a monthly column for my local newspaper, the Holland Sentinel, and here is my effort for September…
I am a student once again. As a lifelong learner, I never really stopped being a student, so it may be more accurate to say that I have gone back to school. I filled out an application last summer, sent in transcripts, wrote an admissions essay, and now I am enrolled and registered for the first time in … let’s just say, it’s been a while.
In some respects, this is familiar territory for me. For the first 25 years of my life, more or less, I thought in terms of fall and spring semesters, punctuated with both a Christmas and summer break. And then, having gone about as far as it is possible to go in school, I was ushered out into the world of work and family, and – well, it’s been mostly work and family ever since.
But now, having worked and raised a family, I am back to doing what I know how to do. I am once again a student, though this time an older student, with more time and less at stake. I don’t need another credential or even a good grade. What I want is to understand some things that I don’t understand as fully as I would like. (My daughters would probably recommend a few classes in computer literacy, but that isn’t where my passion is. I have other questions, subjects I should know more about.)
I am happy to report that I made it through my first week of classes. And now I am looking ahead to more reading, lectures, and even a term paper in December.
Why would anyone do this? A better question would be: Why don’t more people do this? I am a lifelong learner, as I mentioned. I am active in HASP (Hope College’s senior learning academy). I belong to the men’s book club at my church. And more. I do all of this because I am curious. My family of origin and – surprisingly enough – the church of my childhood encouraged me to be intellectually curious. Always within limits, of course, but I was raised by surprisingly curious people.
The truth is, no one needs to enroll in a degree program to satisfy this need to learn and grow. I am curious all the time, with everyone, in nearly every situation. I was at a social gathering recently and met someone I didn’t know. I quickly learned that he lives in my neighborhood, and we talked for quite a while, learning about each other and how each of us sees the world. At some point in the conversation, I realized that this neighbor is the one with a yard sign that I find offensive. I walk by it nearly every day, and I would blush to type the words from the sign into this column. Which only made me more curious. How is it that my neighbor has come to see the world so differently from the way I see it?
If we had started with the yard sign, the conversation would probably have been a short one. I would have let him know how I feel, and that would have been the end of it, with our initial impressions of each other confirmed. But we started at a different place – with my curiosity and his. And to our credit, we kept talking, trying to understand, wanting to know more about each other.
Curiosity in this situation, I realize, has its limits. I am unlikely, for example, to persuade this person to change his core attitudes and beliefs. But that wasn’t my goal. More than anything, I wanted to understand how two people, living in the same neighborhood, sharing the same Christian faith, could reach two radically different views of the current president (or the previous one, for that matter).
By the time we were finished speaking, I came to a grudging respect for his point of view. I don’t know if he had any respect for my point of view, but he didn’t walk away or throw any insults my way. We had not demonized each other, which is how much of our discourse these days goes. Instead, we talked, and I went home having learned something, though I still find the yard sign offensive.
What I am advocating here is more curiosity, mostly because I think curiosity all by itself is a good thing. But I am also advocating for more curiosity about each other, as a way to find more civility and understanding in our community. If we don’t start soon, I fear what will become of us.
(Photos: Some of the books for my class this fall at Western Theological Seminary. And below, one of many yard signs in my neighborhood.)
This really resonates with me because I have followed the same pattern since I retired from Morgan Stanley. First it was Houston Christian University 4Q 2022 and now I have started a nine month program with OCCA (Oxford Center for Christian Apologetics). BTW I think you have mentioned that sign before and I agree it is not in good taste but at least the guy owns it. Also, you utilized a very important principle that I have recently learned. Some people do have a terrible view of Christianity. I learned through "Questioning Christianity" that one can make more inroads with people like this by asking questions. Like "Why do you feel this way?" or "tell me about some experiences that have caused you to feel this way." So it is often better to start off by listening and not by preaching or trying to defeat someone's view. Listening is a form of caring and love and often gives you the opportunity to share more meaningfully with another individual.
I love that you're headed back to college! I have the same on my bucket list, because I'd love to experience higher education without the pressures that I had the first time around. What's your major? Did I miss that mention? With regard to your encounter with the neighbor, did you realize that he was the one with the yard sign during or after the conversation lol? hahah. "In real life" (IRL) encounters are key for our humanity. I firmly believe this, because there's more of a chance to focus on common ground instead of affiliations, politics, etc. To answer your question about how someone like him could have such an offensive yard sign... I have a theory. A little over a year ago, I was living in California which is where I am originally from. Growing up, my teachers were patient, kind liberal leaning young ladies who played a role in shaping my view of the world, and I'll always be grateful. The internet/social media algorithms have known this, and the have promoted content and news story feeds that have always been very complimentary toward the Democratic party. A little over a year ago, I moved to the Southeast and this move coincided with the realization that I do not agree with transing of minors and other values that are considered conservative. Well, all of a sudden, I was getting all this negative news about leftist politicians that I had no idea about prior to my California exit. Not fake news, mind you. News that was reported everywhere but had somehow been suppressed while the internet saw me as a blissful Democrat. I would guess that your neighbor is being bombarded with all of the worst news possible associated with President Biden and his family, and maybe all this news is being suppressed when it comes to what you see online. Once the internet determines who you are, it will feed you the worst possible news about the other side and quiet down anything bad about the side you're on. I hope you truly relish your courses! :)