Notes about a 50th high school reunion

I'm excited and don't know why

I can’t tell you why, but I’ve been looking forward to my 50th high school class reunion.

A few months ago, I learned that there would be no reunion because of a lack of interest, and I remember feeling sad about that—once again for reasons I can’t explain. But then, with the clock winding down, a few of my classmates—God bless them—decided that there should be a reunion and that they would make it happen.

They began contacting people, who agreed to contact other people, and soon there were enough of us to think seriously about getting together and seeing for ourselves how the years and our life experiences have ravaged all of us.

The best idea the organizers had, I think, was to form a Facebook group for our class, decorated with our school colors (blue and black) and some photos from our year which—you must have calculated by now—was 1971. When the Facebook page appeared, more classmates began to appear. Someone from my class whom I have kept in touch with over the years, more or less, had successfully avoided social media for the last ten or 15 years, but with the reunion in mind he relented and created a Facebook page for himself.

Clearly, this was getting serious.

I did not attend my 10th reunion, and as far as I know, that was the only reunion our class attempted. I remember living in another state at the time and not being interested. But something has changed. I wouldn’t miss this one for anything.

Based on my not-very-extensive reading about the subject, not everyone feels the same way. Lots of people, I discovered, have no interest whatsoever in attending any high school reunion. The reason given most often for not attending is that some people never felt as though they fit in and couldn’t imagine spending two hours with those same people.

The second most common reason—I forget who did this exceptional research—is having been a part of big class. The thinking is, “I didn’t know many of my classmates. I don’t see the point of getting together with people I didn’t know.” My own class had 200 or so members, so size is not an excuse.

And last, but not least, the third most common reason can be summarized as follows: “I don’t know if I want to pay for airfare, rental car, hotel, etc. to see people I wasn’t all that close to.”

That last reason sounds a lot like the first, but I suppose the financial issue combined with not feeling close to classmates makes some sense. After having lived in six states (and one European city) I am now back to the area where I grew up and have no financial excuses for not showing up. But I think I would have bought a plane ticket even if I still lived elsewhere.

I don’t know if our class was particularly close, but many of us had been together for years before high school, attending the same Christian feeder schools that formed our Christian high school. Many of us also attended the same churches, played in the same Little Leagues, and knew about each other for countless other reasons. Grand Rapids was not a small town, then or now, but our little Christian sub-culture was small enough. And in that sense we were quite close.

There's an old joke that goes something like this: You go to your tenth high school class reunion to see who's looking good, to your 30th to see who's doing well, and to your 50th to see who's still alive. I thought this was funny, until I saw the list of my classmates who have not survived to attend the reunion. As it turns out, ten of my classmates have died since graduation, one of them just days after graduation. The sobering truth is that the rest of us are lucky to be here—through some combination of diet, exercise, and good genes.

As I began to read the Facebook pages of my classmates, though, I began to wonder why my classmates are bothering to gather in person. I can see what they look like now (presumably on their best days), where they went to school (after high school), what they have done with their lives, and even what they believe about religion and politics. One of my football teammates describes himself as “fiercely conservative,” and I wondered if I really wanted to spend the evening talking politics with him. Maybe we can stick to the topic of our three-wins-and-five-losses football season (not exactly a stellar senior year).

Social media may have changed some of the dynamics of a 50th reunion, but not all. I think there is still a need to come together 50 years later and congratulate ourselves on having made it. Getting to this age, having made a life for ourselves, having made a difference in the lives of other people, and still being able to smile about it all counts for something.

Beyond that, there’s the matter of marking this milestone. Birthdays and anniversaries play an important role in our lives. They tell us who we are and what we have accomplished. I look forward to attending this reunion, feeling good about having made it this far.