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Kathy Bostrom's avatar

Thank you for this heartfelt and honest reflection on your mom's dying and death, and being stewards of pain. I want to read the book you recommended and have made note of it. Thinking of you as you navigate a world that is a bit off-kilter when one is grieving. Greg and I felt like the alignment of the planets shifted when our moms died. The world becomes a different place, but one still to cherish.

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Florine Clomegah-Freitas's avatar

Dear Pastor Doug,

I was deeply moved by your recent column and wanted to extend my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your mother. It's evident from your words how profoundly she influenced your life and how precious those final moments together were. The beautiful rituals of tea and chocolate that you shared in her last days truly reflected the deep love between you. She was blessed to have you as her son. Please take good care of yourself during this difficult time, as you have always cared for others. Guard your heart until it heals and the grief decrease and I am sure, Chocolate is a great comfort and bring back sweet memories. Kind regards, Florine

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Douglas Brouwer's avatar

Thank you so much for those thoughtful words. Am glad for our friendship. I hope you are doing well.

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Florine Clomegah-Freitas's avatar

Your friendship and kindness greatly aided my well-being since my father's passing a year ago. I explored the transformative power of virtues, following my father's advice. Your counsel to channel grief into self-improvement, rather than succumb to sadness and depression, proved invaluable. I sincerely appreciated your wise guidance and support.

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Steve Lytch's avatar

Doug, thanks for sharing this. I’m in NC preparing to officiate at the funeral of a cousin this afternoon in the little country church where my father grew up. He’ll be buried in the cemetery out back near my parents. He was a farmer, so the image from 1 Corinthians 15 of a seed being buried in the ground is front and center of my thoughts. I wonder if there has been a particular image, passage or promise that has helped shape your grieving.

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Douglas Brouwer's avatar

Pastor Chad who visited my mom often and really liked her will have a meditation at the service on Friday. I hope he comes up with something that will help. (I like what you plan to do at your cousin's funeral.) Right now, I'm just to "feel all the feels," which is the first time I've ever dared to use that expression.

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Douglas Brouwer's avatar

"Off kilter" is exactly the way to describe my feelings. Thanks, Kathy. So good to see you at the Calvin Festival of Faith Writing.

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Douglas Brouwer's avatar

I contine to marvel at (and be grateful for) those nine months I spent at the Hague, getting to know and working alongside people like you. You can't imagine how grateful I am (and will remain) for the experience. If something I wrote was helpful, I'm so pleased!

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Douglas Brouwer's avatar

I hope it was helpful. I'm guessing that your story would have fit well alongside the others.

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Douglas Brouwer's avatar

Thanks, Dawn. I know you've been down this road before. It's amazing in a way that I reached 70 and still had a parent to talk to. God's trying to help by sending a lot of nice spring days! (I don't really believe that's how things work, but it's a nice thought.)

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Jonathan Brownson's avatar

I just finished Jeff's book yesterday

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Leannah Robinson's avatar

Thank you Doug. I so enjoy and benefit from reading your email / substack / Holland Sentinel column.

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Dawn Vollink's avatar

Doug, I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your mom last month. It's such a significant thing to lose a parent. Linnea and I will keep you in our thoughts...

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